Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Some times when I close my eyes
I can see you.
When I am alone I feel you.
When it is quiet I can hear you.
I long for those precious moments we had
and the time we once shared.
I hope and pray that some day
we can be together.
All I have now are the memories,
we once made.
So, when my eyes open
I can no longer see you.
When I am in a crowded room
I can no longer feel you.
When I am surrounded by the faces
and voices of so many strangers
I can no longer hear you.
As the day goes by
and night draws near
I then know
I will:

See, feel, and hear you

once again as

I dream.

the distance....

The light fades
When you walk out of the room
My mind evades
The thoughts of being without you

It's the simple choices
That we'd never thought we'd make
Life's many chances
And our choosing which to take

I sit here lonely
Wishing I could call out to you
Across this distance
I wonder if you miss me, too

My heart is breaking
Only pictures can keep me sane
Or hearing your voice
That always seems to heal the pain

If I could go back
And do just one thing differently
I'd stay there with you
Or have you somehow here with me

When I look into your eyes,
I know that some things are meant to be.
When I see you smile,
I know I will adore you for as long as I live.
When you hold me close,
I know what heaven feels like.
When you tell me that you love me,
I could fly to the moon.
Every time you kiss me,
I fall in love all over again.
When I can hear your heart beating,
I know I’ve found everything I’ll ever need…
I have traveled the world over, seen many beautiful places-
But you are the most wonderful thing I have ever laid eyes upon.
The years may make us old and gray,
But my love for you will never grow old.
I thank God every day
I have the greatest friend who ever lived.
You are my comfort, my heart, my soul-
The breath in my prayers, the love of my life.
You are not just my other half…
But my whole.
I am not afraid to lose myself in you;
You are the only one in the world for me.
I’m sorry for all the fights,
All things I shouldn’t have said.
I would do anything for you,
And I promise I will never leave you.
Other arms may reach out to me,
Other eyes may smile at me…
But as long as I live,
The road will only lead back to you.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Am I on the RIGHT TRACK?????

Just asking myself this question....

My friends are asking me what makes me busy these past few days. I told them that I am on the other site, exchanging views and opinions, and what is that site? SAIPANBLOG...!!!!!

Actually, been busy also with my LABOR CASE in Saipan, the reason why i joined SAIPANBLOG, to voice out my feelings and insights about what's going on in Saipan right now...everyone in Saipan right now are talking about FEDERALIZATION, GREEN CARDS and SALARY/WAGE....

With regards to my LABOR CASE, some of my friends knew about it, especially those people who helped me out and lend a helping hand during my time in Saipan.It was filed AUGUST 2004, but until now...WALA PA RIN....!!!

So, I am figthing for my right, which I believe is the right thing to do...I did send emails to all people concern and who could possibly help me out with my it and enjoy!

email from MR. JIM BENDETTO, Federal Ombudsman in Saipan, Office of Insular affairs:

"I have forwarded your e-mails to Cris Hilario. He will take care ofyou."
Jim Benedetto
email from Mr. CHARLES REYES, Press Secretary of for the Governor Fitial, CNMI
"Ms. Duran:
Since I am not familiar with the particulars of your case, I will forward your e-mail to our Department of Labor for an appropriate response.
I am sorry about your difficulties and I do hope your questions & concerns will be properly addressed. Thank you for your e-mail. "
"Dear Ms. Duran:Thank you for furnishing additional information about your labor case. I will forward these particulars to our Labor Department.
Please be assured that we do not condone any illegal labor activities in the CNMI. We are doing our best to enforce the law given our limited and decreasing resources, in view of the present economic downturn.
Happy New Year.
Charles Reyes"
At least, they did respond on my email, which I know a way of moving step in getting there about my Labor case...whew!
And only now, got the chance to talked to Mr. Chris Hilario through overseas call and tell me that he will make a letter address to Labor Office in Saipan for immediate hearing of my Labor Case and will send some papers for me to sign...WHOA!
It is not about the money,It is about WINNING and GAINING RESPECT from oppressor who keeps on laughing about it and about RIGHTS and for employers who are abusing their employees, If i win the case...What an accomplishment!
Now, asking again myself, AM I ON THE RIGHT TRACK??????
God said " NASA TAO ANG GAWA, NASA DIYOS ANG AWA!", which mean that I have to do my part and doing it now!
God Bless Me!

PLF First Anniversary

January 13, Saturday...It was the celebration everyone is waiting for, the FIRST PLF (Passion, Love and Forgiveness)group ANNIVERSARY.

We, the members would like this anniversary TO BE a memorable one by doing a good will in behalf of the, thankful and grateful to all our sponsors, Elsa, Reggie, Jeff, Sarah, and more, especially the members who shared something or more so that we could go on and make it happen, our project which is the CHARITY WORK for the needy...CRIBS.
I didn't get the chance to go with them to CRIBS, blame it on the traffic jam...5 hours of travel from Laguna to Manila...whew! but, still some still go on with the project, sharing a little bit of their time and bringing some gifts to them...I SALUTE YOU!
I was in Megamall when my cellphone got BATTERY chance for me to reach where are my groupmates..teary eyed, really don't know what to do..I don't want to miss the fun! Blame it on me, for i haven't put a note where would be the anniversary venue...decided to go to Pasig, Anelle and Gina's house, Thanks to tita Lorn's, who welcome me with open arms..charged my cellphone and made some phone calls, luckily Edwin gave me the name and place where i should go.
Meeting Bhong at Robinson foodcourt was overwhelming..hayyy...thanks Bhong for picking me up and bringing me to the venue!
Inside the function..glad to see PLF members around new and old ones...met Edz, marie, sweet naive... and now i feel safe! We had fun until 11:30 pm but the night is still young and decided once again to make the most of stop BAYWALK!
At 4 am we decided to end the day...saying our goodbye's to one another...arrived here in my place safe and sound at 7 am...
Thanks everyone for this nice and good experience of GETTING LOST again but HAPPY!


I open my heart
to let a ray of sunlight,
I look up in the sky
Today was so clear and blue.

Why Am I like This?
i ask myself
Why there are times
i just want to hide away
behind a shadow and just drift away
I see a door openning ahead
with ray of light coming in
If i have to give up now
and not dare to continue
and walk throughall this
Then what am i living for?
What do i want in my life?
to live alone but myself and trust no one..?
Is this what i really want?
Life is so beautiful to be wasted away
when you have someone to share it with
I look up, yes i saw the stars
shinning so beautifully against
the darkness of the night
i thought they were like unfading smile
so sweetly touching the deepest
part of my heart, so vividly and so pure.
I reach out my hand to the light above me,
It's time i let go,
and put away all the fear in me
it's time i come out hiding in the dark
and embrace the bright new ray of sunlight
with the promise of a bright day ahead.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances,than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill
It will make or break a company, a church, a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you...

We are in charge of our attitudes


There are reasons that keep us from doing things. And there might only be one good reason in doing so. That reason could be the ultimate impact for a fulfilled destiny.
"Sometimes, the only ticket to HAPPINESS and CONTENTMENT is PAIN... You will never know how to appreciate success and good things that come your way if you haven't gone through hardships. I'm a believer of this and I know most of you do, too. You should never be afraid to get hurt because for every pain, there's a relief; For every ending, the a new beginning; and for every lacking, there's something that will fulfill..YOU!!!
I can say that I'm HAPPY and CONTENTED... That's the fruit of what I did. But at times, I wonder... What if I didn't risked?! What if I just left everything the same as they were!? Will I end up with the same direction towards happiness and contentment? I really don't know...
Nevertheless, I am very thankful... I don't regret it. Now, all I can hope is for everyone to feel the same way as I do. HAPPY, BLESSED and CONTENTED... I will pray for that.
GOD MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS... I love you my Lord... Thanks for... you know it already...

Giving UP!

it is madness hate all roses

...coz u got scratched one thorn.

to give up

...on your dreams.

..coz one

... didn't come true.

to lose faith prayers
...coz one
...wasn't answered
to give up
...all your efforts
...coz some of them
to condemn all
...of your friends
...coz one
...betrayed you.
to not believe in love
...coz someone was unfaithful
...or didn't you back.
to throw away all your chances be happy
...coz you didnt succeed
...on your previous attempt.
do not give up not give in
...keep believin
...continue livin.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


Why do I often find myself
Staring at nothing, scorning myself.
Pitying myself?

Why is it that the only things
That keep me company
Are the silent tears that come
When I can’t help them anymore?

Why must I always think of
The ecstatic but ephemeral
Moments we shared alone together,
Just you and me?

Why should these memories
Keep coming back to me
Making me long for you
Making me wish for what is past
To become present?


I sense an icy spell shadowing upon us,

I feel despair seeping through my veins,

Blurring this vision with imminent tears.

Through the mist, I see yesterday

And hear my own laughter ringing in my ears,

Mocking my moments of solitude.

Love … so sweet an endearment fitted to only you,

Someone so close, yet very far to reach

Someone my heart loves with love

More maddening than love.

I see your image teasing my imagination

I hear your voice

And listen to its soothing tone.

I feel the warmth of your kisses

Touching the very depths of my soul…

Elevating me to great heights and ecstacy.

It was a beautiful yesterday with you,
My love, but what an agonizing tomorrow.
Today, I sight with utter disbelief
My eyes are crying with unshed tears
Because it is my heart that is bleeding
Slowly killing me,
I close my eyes to ease the pain,
But I find myself staring at the vast wilderness of the sky,
Searching for the answer to the sudden coldness
You have sent my way.
I LOVE YOU … but is it all in vain?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

SOME WHY's.......

A lover, who claims to love, can never hurt his/her beloved. Love demands that you care utmost for your beloved. You are concerned about their feelings. You make them as comfortable as possible. You keep them as happy as possible. You help them fulfill their dreams. You encourage them during tough times and you are always there for them. If you don't do this, there will be nothing called as love. The definition of love includes the qualities I mentioned.

This does happen. In many relationships it happens all through the life. Such couples need not worry to know about heaven. Their home is heaven. But in some relationships, if a lover wishes to break away for any reason including feelings of being treated unjust, the results will be harrowing.

Let us look at what will happen. As the lover who wishes to break away remembers all the investments she/he did for the love, she will feel that all has gone waste. All ur sacrifices are in vain. You did so much for many years, and now what is the result? This frustration and anger is directed towards the partner. At that time the lover who is breaking away forgets that worse will happen to one she /he will be leaving. Only selfish thoughts occupy the mind. This is the tragedy of such love.

The one who is left behind might have made more sacrifices and given a lot more for love. He/she gets bewildered at why this break up is happening? It is like a sudden earthquake.

That is why I asked,


if you love someone why hurt?


-letting go of a person you've just learned to love.

-reminiscing the good times you had with your ex.

-shielding your heart to love somebody.

-tring to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes

-loving a person too much.
-giving up someone you never thought of giving up.

-having the right love at the wrong time.

-taking the risk to fall in love again.

-hiding your relationship from someone else.

-controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend.

-thinking of him/her every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that she/he never even thinks a single thought of you.

-holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out.

-falling inlove w/ someone you didn't meant to fall inlove with.

-finding the perfect girl/guy with only one problem. she/she doesn't love you the way you want him/her to.

-helping the one you love to get closer to the one he love, your "friend".

-seeing the one you love crying because of someone else.

-having to hear, "...I already met someone new."

-agreeing to his/her wish to stay just "friends"

-asking his/her freedom back because it's what you think is the best for the two of you. or.. that..

-he can love her more.

-asking you to "forget everything that happened" and be friends again.

-hearing that you're just being treated as kuya/lil sis
-being denied in front of people, his/her friends most especially....

-telling you lies like where she's/he's been when actually he/she was with a "new friend" or an "old flame".

-pretending you're ok when deep inside you're dying.

-pretending you're strong and recognizing your weaknesses.

-lying in bed thinking of that special someone you can never have.

-having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself and leaving you weak and vulnerable.

-finding out that the more you try to hate him/her, the more you end up loving him/her even more.

-realizing your stupid mistakes that led to your break-up.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

L O V E........

Forget the people in the past and thank them for hurting you,
which led you to love the people you have right now.

When you love someone, you'll do crazy things you can't explain;
you'll deny the truth and believe in lies.
When you love someone, you sacrifice, give everything you've got and don't think twice.

You risk it all no matter what.
Everything in life is temporary because everything changes.
That is why it takes courage to love, knowing it might end anytime... having faith will make it last.

A friend is not one who would laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry.
He is the one who make you laugh and stop you from crying.

Love is the feeling we fall in and out of, and every time we fall off, we learn to hold on tighter... hoping that next time, we may never have to let go.

They say when love knocks at your door, open it.
But do you know that sometimes love enters through the back door and before you begin to notice it, it's on it's way out.

Have you ever loved only to let it go?
Have you ever hated someone and loved him so?
Have you ever missed someone so bad it made you cry?
Have you ever seen someone left alone without knowing why?

True: Lucky is the man who wins the first love of a woman but luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man.

Love is not the right word to say when you feel guilty nor the right word to say when you like a person but love really matters when we share our thoughts, our minds, and our hearts...

Life has a way of changing things but not the joy that friendship brings, for friendship is like the shining moon, making each night a brighter one.

Love is not for beauty or color of the skin, but for a heart that is loyal within, for beauty fades and the skin would grow old but a heart that is loyal will never turn cold.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Love is easy to feel, so hard to explain; so easy to get, so hard to let go; so easy to spell, so hard to define...and yet everyone is still taking the risk.

That's love!!!
that’s all they say it takes forget a find the truth lose yourselftime

how long does it take just hold on fight one last time save yourselftime

when does it begin heal feel redefine yourself

lost in the confusion inside
when will the answer be revealed
where did I go wrong
which second did I waste
that changed my life forever

time the choices are revealed
many paths to choose from
obstacles too large to fathom
grit your teeth and bear the load
make the leap of faith

.... that’s all they say it takes


Why do people lie?I understand lying to keep yourself out of trouble, though I don't condone it. What I can't comprehend is distorting facts without profitable reason. Lying about looks, hobbies, material things, etc. It's all so incredibly asinine.

Why would you lie to people online? Why does it matter what they think? You're probably never going to meet them. And if you are going to, then there is no point in lying because they would eventually find out.

If you're not happy with who you are and are lying to somehow "fix" that, why not just change? Who we are is constantly changing; it never stops. If you aren't satisfied with your weight, stop eating and go work out. Don't take 50 lbs off of yourself through conversation so some stranger that lives 8 states away will think you're hot.

Why lie about hobbies? If you don't play, then you don't play tennis. Who cares? Why make up a hobby so you have something to talk about with some girl in another country? "Oh really? I mountain climb too!" It's possible to carry on a conversation without chicanery. If you are interested in that hobby or it's a skill you want to aquire, then go for it! There is no shame in telling someone that you're in the process of learning. Everyone has to start at the beginning.

So do people lie for the benefit of others or for themselves? Are they lying because in their minds, they can be whatever they want? Why make up personas? If you're that creative, write a book. There is no need to generate drama. If you are continuously lying to yourself, then you need to get some help.

Lying because of embarrassment or the will to not disappoint? Fully understood. But the fact is that it happened. It doesn't matter what happens; only what you learn from it. If you learned from the experience, then who cares? It's in the past.

Lying with someone you love and care. Why? so, you won't hurt her/him? again, eventually the truth will come out.

And my biggest vexation, lying to friends. Why? Friends are the ones that are supposed to tell the truth, the ones you can talk to about anything. And yet people continuously lie to their friends, people they consider to be their best friends. Has that phrase lost all meaning?

Lying is a sickness and I want no part in it. If you've the symptoms, keep them to yourself.


Sometimes we ask ourselves why do we meet the right people at the wrong time and why do we fall for them for the wrong reason?

Why do we fall out of love and hurt not only ourselves but also those who have learned to care for us?

These are questions we probably will never find answers too.

Every relationship would have to be put to the test for this is the only wat to strengthen its foundations.Unfortunately,those who have built roots on shallow grounds crumble and fall down.

They realized taht they probably have never loved their partners enough to be able to hold on, or maybe they were just too weak to resist the tempting lure of illicit affairs.

More often than not, people who indulge themselves in actions that will detrimental to their relationship are people who couldnt care more about how others would feel.

They are people who are passionately and romantically blinded by their emotions and selfishly seek out to find their own satisfaction and happiness at the expense of others misery.

Life is what we make it and love is the only thing that makes this world go round. We all fall in and out of the great cyclone of this sweeoing emotion.

Sooner, you'll walk down the aisle hand in hand, to were love and eternity have promise a happy ending

Monday, January 15, 2007

take the chance

take the chance

Heart passed in memories painful memories
Then it must be heal by someone new very new
And take a chance in the light
...In tomorrow's light
To mend a broken heart
...and feel so right
And in the silence of the night
...of the peaceful night
When lips are wanting to kiss
...longing to be kiss
That will test and hold the promise where happiness leads
This feeling shows something care
...soemthing really care
So eager to come and say..."you want to share"
...truly want to share
The wonders waiting for us there
...the passion calling us there
When life is passing in the mist hte morning mist
A man and a woman in the night tomorrow's light
To hold each other tight very tight
So I came with you to take the chance
...really take the chance
To let our heart sing and dance take the music of a glance, of a fleeting glance
To the sound of romance
...of a new romance


If you cannot stay because your heart no longer has the will
When the words I whisper to your ears no longer matter
Indeed perhaps I could never imagine the pain I caused
When in your eyes i were to be the one to uplift your world
Maybe you'd want me to hold on to your arm and pull back
If i held on long enough maybe you'd consider staying
But the chain of events have already laid out our paths
Your heart has closed its doors and I too have lost my will

If you must go on to find a man who will mend your heart
Heal the scars still burning fresh on your empty heart
Let the wind guide you and no longer my hollow words
Listen to the sound of the whirlwinds as you walk slowly
Perhaps during a silent moment you may hear my voice
Calling out your name as you bow down your head
Desperately trying to forget these steps taking you away
I too will be hoping I find a man to mend my heart

If farewells must all feel this way I wish to part silently
When two peole are no longer willling to listen to words
When doubts abound in two confused and broken hearts
But these feelings that once caused my face to smile
When a simple phone call from you took my breath away
They breathe yet a little of love in my veins for me to say
I am walking away in silence but your heart will feel
In the wind my heavy sorrow is caressing you silently

Friday, January 12, 2007

DO you...REMEMBER??????

Remember when we were so in LOVE?
I do, because you were the one I could trust.

Remember when you would hold me tight?
I do, I didn't want you to let go I wanted it to last all night.

Remember when we use to argue about the stupidest things?
I do, because when you got mad it was the cutest thing!

Remember when our love was so strong?
I do, because i thought nothing could go wrong.

Remember when you said you loved me?
I do, I had a great feeling come to me.

Remember when you said you wouldn't lie?
I do, because when i found out all i did was cry.

Remember when you broke my heart?
I do, because you tore my world apart

Remember when you said if we break-up we can still be friends?
I tried but you thought i wanted you back so we had to end.

I took you for granted, I thought I had you,
But I didn't instead I ended up loosing you.

You treated me wrong after we broke-up,
How could you?, all i ever wanted to do was make up.

This is the last time you'll hear from me
,Well, unless you be a man and apologize so we can agree.

Life's too short we live what we can,
Just remember call me if you need a hand

YOURS.....not mine!

your choice, not mine

Never will you convince me
that I caused all your unhappiness
and you are now happy now
that you're free from me

Never will you convince me
that my intentions weren't honorable
and even if you loved me
we would never have lasted

Never will you convince me
that my hurt and pain is not worthy
and we were just a mistake
for my heart says otherwise

Goodbye my love, your choice, not mine

"If one can not seem to forgive or forget, letting go might be a viable option in freeing the soul to live once again."

"Knowing personal imperfection may cause reflection of love through acceptance that dissipates guilt and a need to forgive."

"Being bombarded in life with many perspectives and judgments, may cause a person to find acceptance through exasperation and get over the guilt of it all."

"Relationships come and go within a lifetime, the lasting ones have highs and lows but somehow find a way to always endure even if only memory remains."

TRYING to....

I've been trying to say goodbye
Trying to forget all about you
But every thought about you
Keeps rushing back into my head.
Why cant I just move on
And start loving someone new
It's cause you still have my heart
My soul, body and mind.
I tried to keep you here longer
But no longer could you wait
You needed to get rid of me
Because I couldn't fulfill you every need.
I tried to say goodbye before
But you hung up that phone on me
You don't want to talk about it
Or don't you have the courage too, to say GOODBYE
It seemed like you said you hated me
That we are not really meant for each other
Not that you didn't want to talk to me anymore.
For all the times that you have hurt me
And the times I thought you cared
I hope you can feel pain 10 times worse
Because your pain can't amount to my scars.
Why did you come back in the first place?
Was it to torment me and hurt me some more?
Did you just want to crush my heart?
And leave me laying there, crying, on the floor.
My final goodbyes
Have not come to you yet
Because one day I wish to be with you
Just once again.
Of all the times I tried to love you
With all my heart and soul
My friends were telling me to leave you
Because you were a player and you don't me anymore
But I didn't want to believe that was true.
So now I'm the one paying the price
For all the damage you've caused
Damage to my heart and mind
That can never be mended by hand,But by a true mans heart.
I tried to keep you with me
But that was all a mistake
So I'll leave you behind in the dust
And never come back never again.
I want to thank you
For at least saying you loved me and once your wife
Because those were the best words
That I ever thought there could be.
So my final goodbyes,
Are to thank you for giving me love
Or at least love I thought would be true
Till the end of time.

I WISH...........

Alone in the room, in a silent night,
Reminiscing the past, things run so fast.
But why this heart of mine kept hurting,
Why this tears keeps running on my face.
Why does everywhere i go, it's you I'm longing for.

You're so unfair, you promised me of everything,
And I said, its you all I want and nothing,more.
You promised me your LOVE,an everlasting LOVE
And I glimpsed with a smile.
I LOVE YOU more than anything else in this,world.

But, what is this now,,,,
You let me alone in this emptiness,,,
You let me suffered, am I deserving this pain?
Would you tell me, where I go wrong?
Would you tell me,"I don't love you anymore"

You're so unfair, why don't you let me start again?
Why don't you let me love again?
Why don't you let me see the brightness of tomorrow?
I'm tired of waiting when it will end.

I wish I didn't met you,,,,
I wish I didn't believed on you,,,,
I wish I didn't expect more on you,,,
I wish,, I don't LOVE you so much,,,,,,,
How I really wish..the pain will end!